AS SHE DID SO, HER PARENTS BECAME
The clothes you wear. The food you eat. The màu sắc of your bedroom walls. Where you go và how you get there. The people you hang with. What time you go khổng lồ bed.
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What vị these things have in common, you"re asking? They"re just a few examples of the many hundreds of things that your parents controlled for you when you were a child. As a kid, you didn"t have a say in very much that went on; your parents made decisions about everything from the cereal you ate in the morning to the pajamas you wore at night. & it"s a good thing, too — kids need this kind of protection and assistance because they aren"t mature enough to lớn take care of themselves & make careful decisions on their own.
But eventually, kids grow up and become teens. And part of being a teen is developing your own identity — one that is separate from your parents". It"s totally normal for teens lớn create their own opinions, thoughts, và values about life; it"s what prepares them for adulthood.
But as you change và grow into this new person who makes his or her own decisions, your parents may have a difficult time adjusting. They aren"t used to lớn the new you yet — they only know you as the kid who had everything decided for you và didn"t mind.
In most families, it"s this adjustment that can cause a lot of fighting between teens và parents. You want to cover your walls with posters; they don"t understand why you don"t lượt thích your kiddie wallpaper anymore. You think it"s OK khổng lồ hang at the mall every day after school; they would rather that you play a sport.
Clashes lượt thích these are very common between teens & parents — teens get angry because they feel parents don"t respect them and aren"t giving them space to vì what they like, and parents get angry because they aren"t used to not being in control or theydisagree with the teens" decisions.
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It"s easy for feelings khổng lồ get very hurt when there are conflicts lượt thích these. And more complicated issues — like the types of friends you have or your attitudes about sex & partying — can cause even bigger arguments, because your parents will always be intent on protecting you and keeping you safe, no matter how old you are.
page 1The Upside
The good news about fighting with your parents is that in many families the arguing will lessen as parents get more comfortable with the idea that their teen has a right khổng lồ certain opinions and an identity that may be different from theirs.
It can take several years for parents and teens to lớn adjust khổng lồ their new roles, though. In the meantime, concentrate on communicating with your parents as best you can.
Sometimes this can feel impossible — like they just don"t see your point of view & never will. But talking and expressing your opinions can help you gain more respect from your parents, & you may be able to reach compromises that make everyone happy. For example, if you are willing to clean your room in order lớn stay out an hour later, both you và your parents walk away with a good deal.
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Keep in mind, too, that your parents were teens once and that, in most cases, they can relate lớn what you"re going through.
